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Oops–Accidental Delete, But saved this–

I accidentally deleted a previous post (on MOE reactions to the ’emergency answers’ AWARE provided to CSE trainers to get workshop sessions back on track) because I was trying to delete–clumsily from my phone–a comment from an anonymous someone.

He/she, using the favourite homophobic scaremongering tactic, went into great detail about anal sex, complete with watery stool etc–yes, when safely anonymous these people have dirty minds!

However, I did save one of the most valuable things that came out of that post: this comment I think sums up all I want to say & says it better.

Thank you, Beka, hope you don’t mind me posting your comment again.
If you do, let me know ok?

To be honest, many of the “trouble-making” teenagers asking “difficult” questions – I must admit, guiltily, that I have abetted in such actions – are often just pissed-off at sex ed facilitators who hem and haw and deliver a !ing abstinence-only agenda. ‘least, that’s the reason my best friend gives for asking about necrophilia. We’d be plenty happier if we were given straight-out CSE that actually accepts the reality in schools (I admit a middle-class bias, but most teenagers in this stratum have accessed porn etc., and are more likely to be comfortable about being out about orientation, preferences, etc.).

Elision of statements recognising this reality are just as frustrating and irritating as outright, hyperbolic condemnation (which we’ve been exposed to in sex ed as well).

Thank you for having been part of a programme that actively encouraged healthy dialogue. I wish you’d been our facilitators, and I wish you all the best in continuing the CSE

I had assumed most of the teens asking questions about homosexuality in class were doing it to tease ‘target’ classmates further, hence the need to defuse the situation with a ‘neutral, let’s move on’ approach.

As this comment shows some are just bored & fed up with being condescended to–

Now the issue in the hands of the MOE.

I hope, in making their decision, they will focus what CSE is meant to do and how there were NO complaints from participants or parents about Aware’s CSE programme till the feminist mentor (self-appointed) decide to rouse people to complain.

I hope, too, the MOE will take time to differentiate complaints coming from people who have actually been exposed to this programme (and have them state where, who it was conducted by, and why they did not object sooner)

from people who are complaining because they were fed misinformation deliberately warped to inflame them…

eg the rude messages I’ve been receiving here & things reported as heard from ‘someone’s friend’s daughter’ or ‘some polo boy’s mom’

2 Responses

  1. Thank YOU, beka–think you put it all very well!

    MOE, hope you see this!!

  2. Dear Ms Yu:

    I’m surprised (and flattered! – but mostly, oh dot oh, surprised) that you have singled my comment out for mention! I had not thought it very special, because were you to ask most teenagers what’s going on in their lives – well, if you were of the younger generations and asked them, and they answered honestly – this is pretty much it.

    But wrt to what you wrote,

    I had assumed most of the teens asking questions about homosexuality in class were doing it to tease ‘target’ classmates further, hence the need to defuse the situation with a ‘neutral, let’s move on’ approach.

    As this comment shows some are just bored & fed up with being condescended to–

    May I add, please, that when homosexuality specifically is mentioned in class? It can be because we want to “force” the speaker to address the issue – to gauge where the speaker stands, in a way. It’s a good bellwether of where the sex ed course falls along the conservative-to-liberal spectrum. It allows us to see more clearly what kind of speaker is presenting to us. And yeah, sometimes we’re just being defiant because we, speaking on behalf of ourselves or others, want to make it clear to the speaker that we consider ourselves perfectly normal people for being queer or queer-friendly; and we raise the topic in the hopes of them affirming this normality.

    Regarding the misinformation that has been spread over the CSE, I think the best approach is actually for AWARE to take down the criticisms one by one.

    For example, I’ve seen “outraged netizens” complaining about statements like virginity being a state of mind, and then asking something along the lines of “What, so some slut can go and screw half a dozen guys and then claim she’s a virgin because she thinks herself one?” To me, the CSE statement’s evidently saying, virginity not-equals intact hymen. It’s a necessary statement: because the hymen can tear through physical exertion, and desperate women undergo painful hymenoplasty later in life to satisfy society’s demand for “technical” virginity; because an unwarned girl could engage in oral or anal sex – and thus preserve her hymen and her “virginity” – unaware of the risks of STIs or, in the latter case, of pregnancy.

    I really believe that on two counts should the “concerns” of the conservatives be addressed and the legitimacy and appropriateness of the CSE be defended: Firstly, that the CSE more accurately realises the reality of teenage life than abstinence-only doesn’t acknowledge (ohoh! the “gender differences” talk! That totally irks me, the “boys and girls communicate and act differently”, because, hey, that de-legitimises my own, female, sexual desires, porn-watching, whatever-the-hell else, and makes guys the “hormonal, less self control” Other that puts onus of responsibility on female “honour”). Secondly, the accuracy of the CSE’s contents against a very real wider socio-cultural backdrop.

    I apologise for a comment that, even to loquacious me, appears excessively long; but I must thank you for your insightful coverage and defence of our right to proper sexuality education; and I owe it to you also to share a little more about a youth perspective.

    Thank you (:

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