A Dream

I am watching my mother carrying a baby down a long corridor. She looks young and beautiful and has her hair in braids wound around the crown of her head.

She is carrying a baby in her arms and showing it to everyone she meets, along the corridor and pushing doors open to show the baby; showing it to them, showing it off almost. In fact she is offering it to people but there are no takers.

She seems happy and attached and  proud but also a bit uncertain what she should be doing with the bundle she’s holding and proffering.

I wonder if it is a grandchild she is carrying–one of my brother’s children perhaps–or whether it is my brother.

But then I realise it is me she’s holding with such desperately loving uncertainty. She seems lost and confused; desperate and hopeful. She doesn’t seem to know what to do with this thing she wants to both please and protect.

My mother died in hospital last week–at least partly due to me as I was the one who okay-ed the morphine to make her more comfortable.

Mum & Me

Mum & Me

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16 Responses

  1. Dear Meiyi, thank you for your kind comments.
    Since you & your mum knew her you’d know she loved her students very much too!

  2. Dear Ovidia, I’m saddened to know that Mrs Yu has passed on. My sincere condolences.

    I’ve very fond memories of her – a grand old dame synonymous to MGS. She was my mother’s teacher and mine too years later. She called me the ‘Chen girl’ and once hauled me up to the Staff Room when my grades slipped. “What is bothering you?” she quizzed. Honestly, until then, I didn’t even realise that I had been drifting along …

    Mrs Yu’s classes were engaging because she was always telling us little stories, including many about you and your brother. I could tell that she was very, very proud of both of you.

    Take heart, be strong. Remember her, love her, miss her … God bless!

  3. Mary, Karen & Leon–thank you very much too. It means a lot & does make a difference!

  4. Thank you all–
    Ruben, I wanted to visit your page but my server won’t let me–keeps resetting & saying ‘not found’. Am working on that. Someone told me last night you put up my late mum’s photo on your blog with a sweet message–thank you for that & for your kind words here. (btw Not a ‘cliche’ at all right now. Need to hear that many times as I do!)

  5. oh, so sad!! Went thru the same thing with my dear mother last August. Its a terrible life experience, to witness the death of your own mom. We spent 3 hours with my mom unconscious after pulling her breathing tube, and morphine helped her not feel pain. It was holy, walking around her, touching her, talking to her, telling her how much we love her and thanking her for all she gave of herself to us. But it was the most painful thing I’ve ever been thru… Good luck to you, my dear. You are not alone!

  6. My deepest condolences 😦

  7. […] my unread Google Reader and Bloglines feeds this evening on my iPhone I was saddened to read that Ovidia’s mother recently passed on. Ovidia is one of the people back in Singapore who’s blog I’ve been reading since the […]

  8. My heart goes out to you and your family Ovidia. My own mum passed on a couple of years ago under similar circumstances so I know what you did was one of the noblest and hardest things anyone could ever be asked to do.

    I know it sounds cliché, but stay strong and remember the fun times. I know mummy expects the same from me, in fact often I swear I can still feel her smacking me upside the head when I say something particularly nerdy/stupid or when I feel too blue!

    It’s a special person who leaves the world a slightly better place than when they arrived. If the way she was able to raise a humble, intelligent and friendly person like you is any indication, I know your mum was one of these people too.

    Hugs and love from Adelaide,
    Ruben

  9. So sorry to hear about your loss Ovidia. Sincere condolences. i kinda know how it feels to give the go-ahead to ease your loved one’s passing. It is a decision that takes a lot of love and courage, so keep your chin up.

    much love.
    karen

  10. Thank you, Darkorph, anon MG girl & Courtney–do appreciate your comments

  11. Oh, I am so sorry. My thoughts are with you.

  12. Hi Ovidia
    You don’t know me but I remember your mum from my MGS days, as most MG girls do. She didn’t teach me but I knew her because she used to help out in choir, and she was always giving Maths remedial lessons in the library where I hung out all the time after school. I remember her fondly and I’d been wondering how she was for some time now. I’m sorry to hear she has passed away… my condolences and take care.

  13. I am so sorry. How are you at this moment?

    Please take care of yourself.

  14. thanks jolene (& thanks for your comments on the abuse article–wanted to write to her too but just couldn’t get moving)
    & thanks too, jo–for the kind words & the hugs!

  15. Sorry to hear that, pls take it easy. I know its hard to bear with such things and i totally understand how u feel. *hugs*

  16. Sorry to hear it – take care.

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