Good Sunday

Was only so slightly late for service this morning… (parked on a double yellow line outside the Century Tech & spent first part of worship praying not to get docked)

Chee Meng spoke today about God transforming us, using how a caterpillar metamorphoses into a butterfly as his analogy. It’s not about how hard we try to change ourselves or improve ourselves because we’ll just get to be better caterpillars… the only way is to be willing to let God transform us–something He will not do against our will.

He’s always so gentle but so quietly certain about what he says. Can tell he’s been through a lot.

Lunched with Zoe after. Most of the stalls at the hawker centre were closed/only partly functioning but I found a rice stall & got veggies.

Came home & did a full primary series… so I’m good now!

Funny thing I’m having trouble with trikonasana of all things–feel such insecurity with my back leg/knee that it’s difficult to stand. But once I put my hand down to anchor it’s better. (Blaming it on the CNY stress, people all around & behind me, feeling vulnerable…) but I got to bind quite easily in supta k. and gave myself a full 15 min (on timer) savasana, something I never do in class.

The savasana was so good. The first 5-7 minutes felt so long. I was fidgeting, wondering if I was lying straight, wondering whether the timer had stopped… but by the time the beeper went off I was relaxed, focused, breathing calmly & deeply but relaxedly… & yes, feeling almost as though I was hovering. It was fantastic.

One of the big benefits of home practice!

& I used a wet swiffer to wipe off my mat… it was still damp & pretty clean so I swiffered off some of the rest of the bedroom floor, under the bed etc… good energy!

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4 Responses

  1. Hi Darkorp & Shiny–good savasanas to you two too!

    Darkor, thanks v much for the Annie Dillard quote. I agree–God does not need anything from us at all… ‘thousands at His bidding speed’ and we’re talking thousands, thousands of thousands of imperial hosts, not petty little humans… that’s why I always get a little twinge of wanting to argue when people tell me we ‘have’ to do something ‘for’ God… whose work would otherwise be left undone.
    But I tell myself they need to believe this, it’s part of their belief system.

    I think we need to work for it, push terribly hard, make a great effort, yes–it’s like the whole practice & the final push–TOLASANA–where every muscle in your body is taut, tense, focused…

    But the whole point of your practice is to bring you to Savasana.

    Savasana would be the stage of ‘allowing God’ I think. But you can’t just lie down on your mat & allow God.

    And we have to go through the sequence, again & again. Because new knots & kinks build up, new stuff has to be flushed out of your lymph & your fascia has to re-stretch after re-tensing…

  2. Ohhh a nice long savasana sounds perfect. I echo yr thoughts on the fidgety thing – sometimes I struggle but lately have been loving a deep relaxation : )

    x

  3. Hi, me again. The earlier bit in this post about allowing God to transform us, and not about how hard we try — it reminded me of this quote by Annie Dillard:

    “God does not demand that we give up our personal dignity, that we throw in our lot with random people, that we lose ourselves and turn from all that is not him. God needs nothing, asks nothing, and demands nothing, like the stars. It is a life with God that demands these things.

    “Experience has taught the race that if knowledge of God is the end, then these habits of life are not the means but the condition in which the means operates. You do not have to do these things; not at all. God does not, I regret to report, give a hoot. You do not have to do these things — unless you want to know God. They work on you, not on him.

    “You do not have to sit outside in the dark. If, however, you want to look at the stars, you will find that darkness is necessary. But the stars neither require nor demand it.”

    One of the 12 Steps from Alcoholic Anonymous is “Allowing God” (I think), and I always felt it is relevant to non-alcoholics also. It reminds us that we do not have control of our lives. That we have to step aside from ourselves, our ego, and allow a higher power to heal us, to transform us.

    Paradoxically, we need to work for it. We need to do the work, make the effort for change and healing, but ultimately, the real change, the real transformation, comes as a gift of grace.

    I also find it interesting in some of the literature on AA that I have read, it takes an alcoholic to hit “rock bottom” before they are ready for change. Because until that moment, they still cling on to an illusion of control that will not allow them to surrender.

    Oops. That was long. Sorry if I went a little off-tangent.

  4. Yet another soul who spent Sunday doing homework. :p

    At least you enjoyed it.

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