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Old Photos

Didn’t go yoga again… but did a very short home practice instead. Was bad, because I was supposed to meet Jacq today and go to look at a place in Tanglin. But…

Even though things have been unsettled (inside my head) lately I think they are settling down again, and in good/better places. A couple of days ago my Dad turned up in my dining room with an envelope of old photographs. “Mum thought you might want them” he said. And “Why you never lock your front door,” Then he rushed off. (The other time he turned up without warning was three/four years ago and the door was locked–I remember he said “How come now you lock your door?” A bit crossly because he couldn’t open it)

But the photos–I thought they didn’t keep any of my old photos but there are a couple of me as a baby and one of me at about three with Mum somewhere–looks like Egypt but could be India. She is trying to hold my hand and I am refusing, wanting to walk on my own. Early signs of contrariness?

Aside from that–worked on Big Dog a little, smooth writing. Good, I tell myself. Dear Dr Seet called; he’s going on holiday & / but wants to take along some of my pieces to read and ‘think about’ so I sent him 4 plays. And I ordered the Writers & Artists Yearbook 2008–start the year on a high note!

Been clearing & throwing out clutter too. Moved the old cat cages downstairs & gave away a couple of bags of usable-but-never-used goods to the Salvation Army. I’ve decided I can’t change some things, but dwelling on them now doesn’t help. Without doing the Japanese nationalist thing & whitewashing history, I can adopt the childhood/girlhood/memories/lessons I would have liked to have had and continue from here onwards. But no, I want to keep the lessons and experiences; just acknowledge & release the fear/resentment/hesitation that came as part of the package!

Oh… & was just bitterly–but temporarily, I hope–disappointed in Kindle. Amazon is only releasing it in the US. Even the Canadians are fussing so it will take some time to get out here…

Well, the Beaver (now somewhere in Canada) will be in Pittsburgh or Florida in January–maybe there’s hope yet!!!


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