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You say I drink through a straw in my nose
You who fart through a straw in your brain
In attempts to crush all who dare to oppose
The huff and the puff of your tchio-tchio train

All right. So maybe I’m not cut out to write poetry…

Just finished reading Mohsin Hamid’s The Reluctant Fundamentalist–a great read though I’m still not sure whether the narrator is an assassin/fundamentalist terrorist or ends up getting killed/kidnapped by the American he is talking to. Among the things that struck me: story–it’s a love story, Erica loves the life she could have had with dead Chris & Changez loves the life he could have had in America with the white American Erica. He could have had it even without Erica, it’s clear–top scorer in Princeton, top achiever in his top ranked American company–but though he seems accepted by American society, this facade slips when they think he’s not looking… and it is the drunks, the receptionists, the doormen who reveal this prejudice most openly. Is this because they feel most threatened by him or because they just aren’t as good at hiding their feelings?

It reminded me of a piece I read by a Singaporean on attending a Princeton alumni gathering–how the Caucasian alumni seemed to deliberately shut him out as a non-white alumnus–and this was in Singapore… is it our post-Colonial mentality or their post colonial/expat superiority? No no no… I’m neither anti-colonialist (especially the British they’ve built some good schools, set up some good systems, programmed a functional language into us, left when the communities they set up matured enough to run themselves… on the most part) nor anti-Caucasian. Just wondering about what triggers people to coming out as fundamentalists or activists.

Oh and Ian Smith just died–heard it on the news. He who said “I don’t believe in Black Majority rule ever – not in a thousand years” I have a ‘brother’ in Zimbabwe (Chirikure, if you ever read this, hi!) and a god-daughter too. Zimbabwe that was Ian Smith’s Rhodesia when Ian Smith was Prime Minister. In his heyday he got support from conservative christians in America; they apparently believed his democratic elections were kosher (& they were, because most black people were not eligible to vote). Sorry–just a trigger rant. Anyway, the man has gone to whatever is his reward.

Very garbled thoughts today. Stayed up late reading about bogwood (could be why my aquarium keeps getting acidic) and about matching the stillness of yoga (absence of want/need as well as of resistance/avoidance) with the stillness of ‘Be still and know that I am God’. As a result I was late for practice, didn’t get into class till past 7am and only did a short practice–opening sequence, standing and seated postures up to navasana then straight on to backbends.

And yes, the other thing that made me so mad & which I blame for my lack of balance in class & . But what can I say? Some people become activists when they have unfairness thrust upon them. All I do is write bad poetry.


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