But only just barely. I would dearly like to have a bit more ‘buffer zone’ for off days but as it is I’m still working at untangling stuff and wondering whether I should switch from a first person narrative to third person…

Well, on target is good. I’m not grumbling. And not writing too much here where word count doesn’t ‘count’.

The two doggies have been so beautifully behaved today. Probably the rain just now helped. I’ve been at the computer and they’ve been sleeping on their towel/mats beside me all morning long. We had a good morning walk and I’m hoping they’ll settle down till our evening walk.
Somewhere nearby a small dog has been yapping for ages with someone periodically shouting ‘Shaddup!’ at it. I was concerned about the doggie but my first reaction was thankfulness that my two little ones were silent.
The old pre-dog me would have gone out in search of the other dog (which I’ve done before. Turned out to be a puppy recently adopted with the owner saying she didn’t know what to do with it. We got the puppy a box (that tins of milk came in—scary. How much condensed milk can one household put away?) and a towel to sleep on and that quietened it down some. Yes, the busybody side of me I’ve been trying to quell. I don’t know whether I’ve succeeded in putting it down or whether I’m using up all my interference energy with these two.

Still haven’t figured out how to find & add friends as writing buddies on NaNoWriMo though. I know Vera’s on there somewhere but we couldn’t link up so we’re updating/encouraging/taunting each other on FaceBook!

I’ve handed in my first draft of one book and synopsis and suggestions for the second so I’m ‘free’ till I hear from SPCA which probably won’t be for at least a week. So for the rest of this week or until I hear from them I can go back to working on ‘Man Groves’. The first thing will of course be to set up a new folder, rename and resave my chapters and set up a new master document to get past the cranky behaviour or Master Doc on Mac… I’ll start tomorrow.

Tonight the dog tutor is coming. We’ve mastered ’sit’ ‘down’ and ’stand’ and cut down on the barking at strangers so we’ll see what’s next! (plus I have beef treats now…)

Sunday again, I’ve completed one week of November—which is one week of NaNoWriMo, one week of Beginners’ Challenge and one week of working on the SPCA books. So far I’m still ‘on track’ for all three things.
In the long term I would like to have Sundays off writing—not because writing is painful or difficult or even unpleasant but because I think I need more time for input—both reading and otherwise.
This morning I walked Princess Peach and Hermione out and across to the prata shop where we picked up cheese prata and (on the way back) left several widdles and two very satisfactory waddles (safely wrapped in plastic bags and dumped in garbage bins). They’ve settled down enough to walk without trying to bark down, intimidate or otherwise destroy any other dogs or humans we pass.
Then—two baths with hair dryer grooming and then I defrosted and cut up some chunks of dead cow that are now grilling in the oven as they get converted into homemade dog treats.
Great contrast; last night I was having dinner with the VeggieGays at Rowell Road and this morning I (literally) have blood on my fingers. The dead cow(s) I just cut up probably didn’t have any better lives or deaths than the poor sick bloated beef cattle in the meat industry expose videos I can’t bear to watch. But I believe dogs are ‘true’ carnivores unlike us. And anyway it’s just a matter of where we draw the line… for myself it comes before eating cows. For the dogs I think it comes after cows but still before eating chickens… chickens seem to have the worst time of all in factory farming. The beef bits do seem to make a big difference in getting their attention when we’re out and there are distractions all around. I don’t know whether this is just a temporary training stage we’re going through or whether I’ll be cutting up bits of dead cow forever! But at least when I do this myself at home I feel like I’m giving them something closer to the original source than if I fed them commercial treats which contain “beef, lamb, chicken… preservatives and flavourings”!

Last night was a really great outing. The food was good—of course. I love Food #03. They ran out of burger buns because there were so many of us (and a big group before us) so we got our burgers made from scratch and served in wraps… surprising but delicious! Sadly I ate too many deep fried mushrooms to make room for the brownies the guys were putting away but I did pinch a tasting (okay, probably more than half a scoop) of the ice cream with red passionfruit that came on top of them.
Conversation ran from dragonboat training; how to distinguish between pimps and triad scouts, between opticians and optometrists and between horror and gore; dialogue in films vs dialogue on stage. It was great fun and I got so many new ‘sparks’ though I’m afraid the Megan Fox story doesn’t look so believable by day and after some extensive web surfing (yes, broke my no surfing before writing rule but it’s Sunday…)
Missed church this morning though I was hoping to bring someone for an ‘intro’ but I didn’t do the cancellation so I’m practicing my ‘no pointless guilt’ (another November) resolution and got in the prata walk instead. Later going to buy an oven, attend a champagne lunch to celebrate a lawsuit win and then see if I can scrounge last minute tickets for Sofaman at 3pm. I don’t have any other times free and I only found out I’m clear for this afternoon this morning and SISTIC has already closed ticketing for today so… it will totally serve me right if I don’t make it. But again—no guilt—I’ll put the time to good use instead… or maybe I’ll go watch Jennifer’s Body (even if or especially because I can’t believe the Megan Fox story from last night!)

Adorable but tiring… & tired

Princess Peach who arrived on Tuesday will be joined later today by Hermione… former cell-mate at the SPCA.

Hermione was originally ‘pending’ adoption by another family but they had difficulties deciding between her & a siberian husky (Hermione is a chihuahua) & I guess they went with the husky!

It’s interesting getting used to living with dogs again. I was told to expect 2 weeks of settling in problems–fear, diarrhea etc but so far, apart from being rude (from a distance) to construction workers carrying things Princess has trained herself to piddle on newspaper & save her poo for walkies.

Or rather, whoever abandoned her seems to have trained her well.

She’s sitting on my lap now as I type this. ‘Separation Anxiety’ is another term I’ve learned & I’m hoping that time, familiarity & the company of another dog will help her settle in.

The first night, shut up in the kitchen/laundry/storeroom area she barked for almost an hour & I was afraid neighbours would object. Last night she had the run of the apartment (except the bedrooms) & she seemed all right.

Princess Peach 2nd day at home

So very happy!

Talked to Ivan last night, he likes The Abomination of the Blue Hibiscus and agreed to read an excerpt with me at Books Actually–Ivan, I love you love you love you!!

& if we get carried away we may read excerpts from the other stories in the book, Year’s Best Lesbian Fiction 2008 too!

Reading will be at:

Books Actually (the official bookshop for Singapore Writers’ Festival 2009!)
86 Club Street (they are moving today–12th Oct)
Saturday, 31st October, 4pm

Thank you also to Kenny & Karen of Books Actually for making this part of your SWF programme!!!

I’ve been back in Singapore a week now & sadly, Koh Samui seems to have worn off…

Things were great up till yesterday. I only did one full asana practice last week (with the excuse my body needed to recover from 6 days of hard practice) but I managed to make time for pranayama morning & evening every day, even though that meant pre-6am on some mornings…

…I might still not be doing it ‘right’ of course–I’m still getting my basic breathing messed up.
I mean, it was a struggle to do asana practice with ‘thoracic’ breathing & now that that’s become second nature I’ve got to rediscover my abdominal breathing?

Put simply, I’m having trouble distinguishing between relaxing my abdomen & slouching/letting it all hang out or is this all the same thing?

But I’ve been getting on my ’sit mat’ twice a day and that’s all I can do right now.

Another reason I know it’s not ‘working’ yet is yesterday I had a big freak out–

Sad thing is, it started as such a great day. I was re-writing chapt 16 & spent 3 hours doing ‘in the zone’ writing which amazingly & wonderfully seems to be happening more often these days (okay, so maybe sitting practice is helping a little)

Then I managed to get lost going to meet friends at Central. I ‘knew’ where Central is, having:
1) seen it on the way to Funan & Supreme Court & Arts House etc
2) looked it up in the Street Directory.

But my GPS sent me a different way & talking with a friend in the car distracted me & we ended up in Central Plaza only to find we were outside the wrong MRT Station…

Aside: why on earth would people name a mall ‘Central’ if there’s already a ‘Central Plaza’ not so far away? I know I don’t get out much. Yesterday was the first (& hopefully last) time I’ve been to either place but I’m sure it causes confusion to others.

But yes, we got to the right ‘Central’, had lunch & then–

–we all got lost on the way to the ’spa’. Yes, I went for my first Facial, thanks to a generous friend who said she could See the blackheads on my face!

There was some phoning & looking up of stuff which again wasn’t all bad as I serendipitously ran into an old friend & stressed over a lost credit card (yes, all such happy people…)

And yes, we found the spa after more walking. I had my Vibrams & sun hat so I was quite happy with that part of things.

But inside the Facial room was a different matter:
Once you figure out how to wear their flimsy elasticized skirts (they go around your chest, under your arms–not around your waist or around your neck where my first attempts went) you lie back and they cover your eyes with cotton pads, blow steam on you then stick what feels like pins into your face and say things like “wah this is a big one, do you want to see?”
“I don’t want to see the needle”
“No need to see needle. I show you on tissue,”

I suppose it was effective but it look a long long time. Even after the pin pricks there was a gooey mask thing–

“What’s in it?”
“This is the mask treatment,”
“Yes but what is in it?”
“The mask treatment is good for you skin”
“But what is in the treatment?”
“This is the mask treatment for you skin.”

You can only question so far when wearing an elasticized smock around your armpits with cold pads over your eyes so I left it.

After that was over it wasn’t over. There was the cleaning off of glop they put on, then the putting on of more gooey stuff & the threat “shape your eyebrows?”
“Shape them into what?!”
“Just shape your eyebrows into the right shape?”
“No thank you, No.”

And even after that you sit and drink sugared barley for a long long time while they try to talk you into getting another package. My generous friend pointed out she still had eleven treatments left,
“But you can carry over to your next package if you buy now…”

Fortunately she (like most of the rest of the world) being better natured than I just kept saying ‘no not yet’ firmly. It reminded me so much of the marketing people at Pure Yoga!

Aside: Yes, I miss my daily Celeste so much but not much else about Pure–though I do miss my post-mysore peanut butter banana toast from Toast in Ngee Ann City!
& their cupcakes!!

But yes, after the facial I managed to get lost again trying to find my way back to the car. I’m usually very particular at noting such things but this time I was stressed about being late, about having got lost once already, trying to listen to conversation & phone calls with further directions–and when I got back to Central (stopping to pick up soy milk, bananas, a papaya, dragonfruit, all heavy heavy heavy) I walked round & round not finding anything familiar.

Major freak out: for a moment I actually thought I was in a reality warp. Had to call the friends I’d driven there with & ask if they remembered where I’d parked–it turned out to be the Swiss Hotel, not Central though next to Central, linked to Central & sharing what appeared common ‘To Carpark’ directions with Central

So yes, I finally found my poor car after abandoning my poor purchases. Served me right for not bringing my shopping bags–the store bags were cutting into my hands (still have red lines on my fingers now) & I just left my fruit & soy by a bin.

Yes, I know–all my getting lost had nothing to do with the facial stuff but I can’t help feeling there’s a sort of karmic payback for deliberately setting out to waste time by lying back & having people mess with my face.

But I really didn’t know a facial lasted so bloody long!

Piss point: I thought a facial could only last about an hour but it was past 4pm by the time I started my search for my car. I’d missed my tea snack & the sugary drink at the spa gave me a rush then left me flat. A hell of a lot of the time was wasted lying around with a mask on & getting shoulders rubbed with slimy stuff. I kept trying to keep breathing & relax but was getting more & more frustrated lying there when there were so many other things I would rather have been doing.

I suppose this goes into the category of ‘It’s good to try new stuff’ but I think where facials are concerned, once is enough!

After that I missed my pranayama last night & this morning while trying to do my ’sit’ I kept flashing back to feeling anger, frustration, irritation over everything that happened yesterday afternoon. Now I’ve put it down I can let it go.

And yes, I’ve been back a week and it’s time to pull myself and my practice together.

It’s going to be busy next month. I have to stay calm, stay healthy, stay focused… no more experiments!

excerpt from a very interesting article I found via a post by Qian Xi on FB. Written by a white person in Toronto, it’s talking to white anti-racists in the West but I think with some tweaks applies very well to Chinese people in Singapore.

3. Make sure you understand the definitions of the terms that are going to be used. The first thing you really need to understand is that the definition of racism that you probably have (which is the colloquial definition: “racism is prejudice against someone based on their skin color or ethnicity”) is NOT the definition that’s commonly used in anti-racist circles.

The definition used in anti-racist circles is the accepted sociological definition (which is commonly used in academic research, and has been used for more than a decade now): “racism is prejudice plus power”. What this means, in easy language:

A. Anyone can hold “racial prejudice” — that is, they can carry positive or negative stereotypes of others based on racial characteristics. For example, a white person thinking all Asians are smart, or all black people are criminals; or a Chinese person thinking Japanese people are untrustworthy; or what-have-you. ANYONE, of any race, can have racial prejudices.

B. People of any race can commit acts of violence, mistreatment, ostracizing, etc., based on their racial prejudices. A black kid can beat up a white kid because he doesn’t like white kids. An Indian person can refuse to associate with Asians. Whatever, you get the idea.

C. However, to be racist (rather than simply prejudiced) requires having institutional power. In North America, white people have the institutional power. In large part we head the corporations; we make up the largest proportion of lawmakers and judges; we have the money; we make the decisions. In short, we control the systems that matter. “White” is presented as normal, the default. Because we have institutional power, when we think differently about people based on their race or act on our racial prejudices, we are being racist. Only white people can be racist, because only white people have institutional power.

D. People of color can be prejudiced, but they cannot be racist, because they don’t have the institutional power. (However, some people refer to intra-PoC prejudice as “lateral racism”. You may also hear the term “colorism”, which refers to lighter-skinned PoC being prejudiced toward darker-skinned PoC.) However, that situation can be different in other countries; for example, a Japanese person in Japan can be racist against others, because the Japanese have the institutional power there. But in North America, Japanese people can’t be racist because they don’t hold the institutional power.

E. If you’re in an area of your city/state/province that is predominantly populated by PoC and, as a white person, you get harassed because of your skin color, it’s still not racism, even though you’re in a PoC-dominated area. The fact is, even though they’re the majority population in that area, they still lack the institutional power. They don’t have their own special PoC-dominated police force for that area. They don’t have their own special PoC-dominated courts in that area. The state/province and national media are still not dominated by PoC. Even though they have a large population in that particular area, they still lack the institutional power overall.

F. So that’s the definition of racism that you’re likely to encounter. If you start talking about “reverse racism” you’re going to either get insulted or laughed at, because it isn’t possible under that definition; PoC don’t have the power in North America, so by definition, they can’t be racist. Crying “reverse racism!” is like waving a Clueless White Person Badge around.

G. If you go into an anti-racist discussion and start trying to claim the colloquial definition that “racism is simply viewing or treating others differently based on race”, you’re going to get a negative reaction. Stick to “racism = prejudice + power”. Anti-racists aren’t going to take it well if you wander in halfway through the debate and start trying to make them abide by your definition rather than the commonly accepted “prejudice + power”. Imagine if everyone in a classroom was chatting about a particular subject and then someone walked in and said, “No! You’re all doing it wrong! The REAL definition is ABC and I don’t care that all the rest of you think it’s XYZ!” — do you think that would go over well? Of course it wouldn’t; the newcomer would be considered rude. (Also, making an appeal to Dictionary.com is not going to work. Pointing out that the colloquial definition is how Webster’s Dictionary defines racism is not going to make anti-racists suddenly say, “Wow, you know what? You’re right! I never realized it, but now that Webster’s has backed you up, I see that you’re totally right and racism really is just judging people based on their skin color!” Actually, they may say that, but they’d be saying it sarcastically.)

H. I’m under the impression there are a number of different reasons why anti-racists use the sociological definition as versus the colloquial one, but the major reason I’m aware of is that anti-racists aren’t just focusing on individual acts of racism; they’re looking at racism as an entrenched system that pervades every layer of our society. The colloquial definition reduces racism to an individual level; the sociological definition focuses on the systemic level. The systemic level is actually more important, because even as individual/obvious acts of racism become less socially acceptable, the systemic effects of institutionalized racism continue to work quietly, efficiently, and powerfully. Think of it like a body; it’s easy to find a cancerous lesion on the skin and remove it, and then you’d look like you were cancer-free. But even as you looked fine on the surface, the real cancer would be inside your body, spreading from lymph node to lymph node, and invading your bones and organs. Individual and overt acts of racism are the lesions on the surface; the invisible cancer is the systemic racism. Unless you’re addressing the underlying disease, eradicating surface symptoms isn’t going to accomplish much. But that’s enough about the definition of racism for now; let’s continue.

4. Start learning about privilege. You need to understand what it is, and how it works. Read Peggy McIntosh’s essay, Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack. (If that link is no longer good at some point, just Google it.) Acknowledge that you have privilege, through no fault or worth of your own; it was accorded to you at birth, and there’s no way to get rid of it. It just is, under the current system of institutionalized racism.

If you feel like doing so, spend a little time coming up with your own list of the ways that privilege works in your life; this will give you a greater understanding of the disadvantages that PoC face. Understanding your privilege will help you learn how to:

A) use it for good when possible (for example, when I write this I am taking advantage of part of my white privilege, which is that whites tend to listen to other whites and afford them more credibility than they extend to PoC), and

B) not use it to hurt PoC inadvertently (for example, by going into a PoC “safe space” and taking over the conversation).

5. Put down that strawman! Nobody’s asking you to feel guilty over having privilege. Guilt doesn’t get us anywhere. We just want you to be aware of it. Just acknowledge it and be aware of it and move on, for now.

6. Next, learn about derailing. “Derailing” refers to the many ways that white people take a conversation about racism and privilege and, well, derail it — make it all about them, rather than the PoC. This is almost always an unconscious act. Learning about how derailing works will help you learn how to avoid making the common derailing mistakes. Derailing for Dummies is a great resource. (Notice that the first two entries in Derailing for Dummies actually address the whole “educate me, PoC!” concept. It’s THAT prevalent.) Then go read this post: The Art of Defending Racism. (You will also notice both the article and the post are written with a heavy dose of sarcasm. Sometimes it feels like you have to laugh so you don’t cry, and sarcasm is a defense mechanism. Some people find sarcasm to be upsetting, but even if it bothers you, don’t allow the tone to keep you from absorbing what’s being said. It’s important stuff.)

7. Do not make the mistake of believing that because you have a lack of privilege in one or more ways (examples: “I was/am poor”, “I’m gay”, “I’m female”, etc), this means you understand what PoC go through.

A. We’re all privileged in some ways and have lack of privilege in other ways. A straight black man has straight privilege and male privilege, but lacks white privilege. A gay white woman has white privilege, and lacks straight privilege and male privilege. (A straight white cisgendered male with no handicaps, born to wealthy parents, has all sorts of privilege.)

B. By saying that “you have white privilege”, they’re not saying “you don’t know what it’s like to be oppressed” — they’re saying “you don’t know what it’s like to experience racial oppression”. You will not win points by saying, “But I’m gay/female/handicapped/etc, so I totally know where you’re coming from!” Nor will it win you points to say, “But I live in an area of town dominated by [insert PoC group here] and people are always threatening me because I’m white, so I know what it’s like to experience racism!” You don’t. If that’s your situation then you know what it’s like to be on the brunt end of racial-based acts of prejudice, but you still don’t know what it’s like to live in a racist system day in and day out. (If you haven’t yet read Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack as linked above, go do it now.)

C. To use an example of how racial privilege and class privilege are different: If you (as a white person) were obviously poor and at a country club, people would assume you’re a server. But if you were obviously rich and at a country club, nobody’s going to assume you’re a server. But if you’re a person of color and you’re at a country club, even if you’re obviously rich and dressed just as well as all the white people there, there’s still going to be some patrons assuming you’re a server and asking where their drinks are. Even if a PoC has ‘class privilege’ — which means they’re rich or at least upper-middle-class — that still never erases their lack of white privilege. They will always be seen first and foremost as a PoC. You, on the other hand, get to bypass that; people may judge you on your clothes or other visible markers of wealth, but they’re not going to judge you on the color of your skin en masse. That’s part of your white privilege.

D. To use another class/race example, if you were driving a really nice car, it’s highly unlikely you’d get randomly pulled over (unless you were breaking the law, speeding, whatever), even if you’re young. On the other hand, if you were black and driving a really nice car, you may well get pulled over just so the cop can check that it’s really your car (and not just something you presumably stole).

E. You’re going to come across the term “intersectionality”. The definition is “intersectionality holds that the classical models of oppression within society, such as those based on race/ethnicity, gender, religion, nationality, sexual orientation, class, species or disability do not act independently of one another; instead, these forms of oppression interrelate, creating a system of oppression that reflects the ‘intersection’ of multiple forms of discrimination.” In easier terms, this means that often different types of discrimination reinforce each other. Trying to tackle one system of oppression without dealing with other systems as well is going to leave some people in the cold. (This is a criticism often leveled at the current feminist movement; it’s primarily working on issues that pertain to white women.)

F. For another way of thinking about how privilege works, here’s an analogy. Imagine a racetrack with all those little divided aisles for people to run. Have a rich, white, cisgendered, straight male on the farthest aisle, and he has an aisle that only has a few hurdles. Have a rich, white, cisgendered, straight female on the next aisle, and she has a couple more hurdles. Have a rich, cisgendered, straight female of color on the next aisle, and she has a few more hurdles than the rich, cisgendered, straight white female. Keep going down the line, adding more and more hurdles as you add each form of lack of privilege. And if you’ve got a situation where intersectionality is often at work — for example, a PoC who lives in poverty — throw an additional few hurdles into their aisle beyond what they already had.

Now, let everyone run the race. It’s likely that straight rich white guy is going to finish first. And as for everyone else — well, many of them will still make it over their hurdles and get there too, but it’s going to take some people a lot more effort than others. And some people have so many hurdles that they’re going to be psychologically beaten from the get-go. No, being white didn’t get you where you are now — nobody showed up in a car and drove you to the end of the race simply because you’re white. But being white made it easier to finish that race, even though you will have had additional hurdles from the other ways you may lack privilege (being gay, poor, etc). No matter how many hurdles you had, at least you didn’t have the additional hurdles that the PoC faced.

Also, what’s even more unfair is when that white guy finishes and says, “Well, I got here on my own two feet, so I don’t know what you all are whining about! If I can do it, so can you!” That’s the nature of privilege, both to discount the ways it helps us and to refuse to see the ways a lack of privilege makes it harder for others.

8. Read. Read read read read read. I suggest starting with these blogs: Angry Black Woman (http://www.theangryblackwoman.com), stuff white people do (http://stuffwhitepeopledo.blogspot.com/), and Resist Racism (http://resistracism.wordpress.com/). There’s a lot of other amazing anti-racist journals too; try checking the blogrolls on those sites for links to other blogs. (If you’re a LiveJournal user, there’s syndicated feeds for the blogs I recommended: [info]abwoman_feed and [info]whitesdostuff and [info]resist_racism .) Also, go read the public posts on the LiveJournal community [info]debunkingwhite. (If anyone else has good resources to suggest, please do so.)

9. Accept that you will make mistakes and you will show your privileged ass and people will get upset at you about it. It doesn’t feel good to have people upset at us; we’re social animals and we don’t like it when we hurt people and people get angry. But don’t get defensive; relax, take a deep breath, and know that however upset you’re feeling about being jumped on, the people on the other side of the exchange are probably even more upset about what you said. (If you’re feeling very defensive and angry, the best option is not to respond right away; give yourself a little time to cool down and think things through. It’s a natural reaction to want to dig our heels in and defend ourselves, but it’s not the most productive path to take.) What you need to do now is accept that you screwed up, make a sincere apology, and figure out what you did wrong so you don’t do it again. Making mistakes is part of the learning process and it won’t kill you, so don’t get butt-hurt about it. Just make a sincere apology, figure out your mistake, and keep learning. (If you don’t know how to make a sincere apology, it goes like this: “I’m sorry I hurt you by saying XYZ.” Statements like “I’m sorry I did XYZ, but [offer excuse here]” or “I’m sorry if I upset you” or “I’m sorry you found my statements offensive” are not sincere apologies and they won’t help the situation.)

10. Once you reach a place where you are somewhat less clueless, start reaching out to other white people and trying to educate them about these issues. The weight of educating white people does not and should not rest on the shoulders of PoC; as a white person, you’re in a good position to educate other whites. White people generally listen to other white people (who are seen as being “more rational” about the topic of race, but that’s a whole other topic), and it’s less frustrating/upsetting for us because we’re choosing to educate others, rather than it being demanded/expected of us.

11. No, you can’t erase your privilege, or dismantle racism. But you can do as much as you can. That’s all any of us can do.

So there! Now you know how to start educating yourself on this topic, and the more education you get, the easier it will become for you to find ways to apply it.

Fantastic!

I was attending the ‘Pranayama–the full practice of yoga’ retreat.

Studying pranayama is new to me though of course I breathe… At my ‘home’ shala here (Yoga Shala at Yan Kit Road) James Figueira’s approach to pranayama is pretty strictly according to Patanjali who says in his writing that the practice of Pranayama should only be taught at the fourth stage after you’ve mastered not just the asanas but are observing the Yamas & Niyamas… all of which I am far, far from achieving.
Plus I’ve also heard it can be ‘dangerous’ when practiced the wrong way.

But having listened to O P Tiwary (assisted by Paul Dallaghan) at the Evolution conference I wanted to find out more & I’m very glad I did.

Why did I find it so great?

-Being anal, analytical as well as having been brought up Methodist, it matters to me that Paul Dallaghan teaches Ashtanga as he was taught by Sri K Pattabhi Jois, teaches Pranayama as he was taught by O P Tiwary & respects the lineage in both cases.
(plus when I said I practiced with James Figueira in Singapore he said yes, good, he knew him from Mysore)

-I didn’t mention my medical condition/history or the medication I’m on now (yes, I know you’re supposed to ‘disclose’ all this stuff according to the I-won’t-sue-you-if-I-break-my-neck-form but I wanted to experience this week as a normal healthy person) but Paul took my pulse (he did this for all of us as part of assessing what each of us needed most in our personal practice) & gave me what seemed an excessive number of reps in a certain exercise, (how I knew this I’ll explain later). When I asked about this he said he said it was good for alkaline blood due to medication esp post chemo!

-I realised during pranayama practice that I’ve been dreading several things–so good at suppressing the fear I was not even aware of it & just thought I was very very tired. The SWF Singapore Drama talk–do I do a ’safe’ presentation or talk about what I think is true & possible & necessary in Singapore Drama today? According to ‘Satya’ or truthfulness the answer is obvious.

And I’ve also been thinking about turning 50 in a few years–not dreading it so much as wondering how this happened & being afraid that if I blink again I’ll wake up & find I’m 70 already…

But after a post pranayama savasana it came to me so clearly: I don’t have to worry about turning 50 because that is going to happen anyway, nothing I do or don’t do will change that. What I can do is look at what I am doing now & how I want to reach the age of 50.
I know it doesn’t look like much here but it was incredibly freeing.

-the daily mysore practice was good too. It’s easy to fall into habits when practicing with the same people at the same time every week.

I learned I tend to do twists with my shoulders rather than my torso (focus on where your navel is pointing–that is where the twist goes especially in warrior & Mari C & D) & I’ve been hyper-extending my knees without realising it.

‘Active’ legs in seated poses is more than keeping my feet flexed; I should get into the habit of leading with the balls of my feet in a way that keeps my legs active from the hip joint down.

-it was so incredible to start practice with the tide way out but lying in savasana listen to the sound of waves washing up & breaking against the shore.

–& I think I actually started to ‘get’ the pranayama lock. One thing he stressed was not to do online searches & try to go too far too fast without guidance so I won’t write more about it but I was struggling, struggling & Cecilie (bless you, C!) was patiently, patiently going through the different locks to me & I was on the verge of being sure I had an abdomen with a different nervous system… when yes, I think I really think I felt for a moment what I was supposed to be doing!!

And aside from all the stuff I learned (which I’m still digesting. Got up at 6 am this morning to try to practice!) I really really loved the atmosphere there.

The sea is literally at the door step & it’s a ‘healthy’ beach–walking on the sand at low tide there were soft crabs & hermit crabs & little fish in tidal pools and holes with tracks leading out of them and dogs digging for crabs…

I also loved the animals there. Put-Put the cat walked around & occasionally joined people on their mats for savasana & Shadow the dog came to visit (only outside).

The people were from all over (Singapore, Malaysia, Canada, Denmark, Holland, Austria, Australia… ) & at all levels from absolute beginners to Intermediate & up.

And yes–how we knew each others’ ‘private’ pranayama recommendations… our yogi brother from Austria (incidentally, most of the females & at least one male at the workshop described him as ‘one of the most gorgeous men’ ever) was excitedly comparing his pranayama sheet with everyone else’s so we all started looking.

I’m also happy because I got to try out my new Vibram 5-finger ‘barefoot’ running shoes & they were so great on the beach, on the grass & flat rocks & on the sandy tracks.

Some people had the energy to go sightseeing/shopping/scuba diving but the only thing I did during our ‘free’ afternoons was a beginning Thai massage class… I can now do my own feet (very nice cross-legged elbow technique he showed us), hands & neck & head… really what I need most since I count on practice to take care of my back!

Oh, and the food was my idea of what will be served in heaven–organic vegetarian (with occasional fish dishes, but these were clearly indicated) & delicious!

I’m already trying to figure when I can go back–I should probably practice on my own for at least 6 months to make it worthwhile but I would really like to spend at least 2 weeks there the next time… or even a month!

(Calculating… I don’t have to go to Evolution again, I don’t have to take more than 3 mysore classes/week, do I really need a car?)

from the Void Deck

On another front, Thio claimed, Christians face an emergent threat to social harmony whereby a non-religious group uses the religious card on Christians to raise emotions and divert away from the issue at hand. Thio stated that the AWARE incident was a perfect example where there was no religious issue as it was about a private takeover of a NGO and a debate over public values. But someone threw the religious card into the debate and when that happened all rationality was lost. The non-Christian who threw in the religious card, Thio argued, used religion to incite hatred over a group and such an act was dangerous tantamount to playing with fire.

The same, Thio continued, could be said of TOC when they victimized her (no specifics) by playing the religious card and accused her of imposing her Christian values when she was merely debating on a public values as a citizen. She termed the TOC coverage as a lie and irresponsible reporting and said that TOC was not interested in public debate and was only interested in creating confusion. Thio also used a Latin expression that equated those who create irresponsible internet postings as swine.

Towards the end, Thio was somewhat emotional and questioned the Christians why are they not angry when Christian views are being attacked publicly. If Christians continue to remain silent then their freedom will be lost eventually. She ended by debunking neutrality in politics and urged Christians to take up a position and speak up for the common good.

Does anyone else see her call to Christians to take up a position and speak up for what they choose to define as the ‘common good’ as attacking the ‘regardless of race, language and religion’ pledge we’re supposed to be living up to? aka using

religion to incite hatred over a group and such an act was dangerous tantamount to playing with fire

.

And how can she call her mama’s unsuccessful attempt orchestrate her minions into a takeover (incidentally showing off the great big beam in her own eye) at AWARE a non religious issue when her church’s pastor was using his pulpit to call on female members to rally to their ’sisters’ support (at least till reprimanded by NCCS)?

Elsewhere she talks about how Christians are tolerant of others’ views but others are not tolerant of Christian views and how she is the victim of online attacks…

Well, part of the reason I’ve shifted over to Facebook from blogging here is because of what she would probably call online attacks–in this case I suspect from homophobic fundamentalist Christians; their hyperbole, aggressive use of CAPS, poor command of basic English grammar and choice of pseudonyms while remaining anonymous is a dead giveaway–oh, and their subject matter of course.

But I’m back here because I also feel moved to speak up–or rather, write out. Go read the piece I’ve linked to and see what you think.

This woman frightens me because she seems to be pushing the line “if you all don’t come and fight on my side then God won’t consider you Christians or good people because the only good people are people who see things my way… I mean God’s way… well it’s the same thing, really. I know because I am a law professor and smarter than you,”